Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Boobs

I stared at the picture of myself that was taken when my son was about six months old.  There are two things that hit me:  1) Man, I look tired, and 2) Man, I have boobs!  Big ones!  Like, Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue Big Ones! 

My gaze dropped to my present-day chest, and I sighed as I realized, for the millionth time, that they are gone.  Long gone.  And I never got to say goodbye.

Breastfeeding two babies killed them.  They shriveled up and died, leaving me dangerously close to Teenform training bra territory.
It’s a tough pill for me to swallow, and also for Husband, who woke up next to Dolly Parton one morning and what appeared to be a 13-year old boy the next.  Although he says I'm fine the way I am, God love him.
But what’s a girl to do?  Well, there are two roads to take:  1) Acceptance (“I am as God made me, sir”), or 2) get a boob job.  I have considered both options and even discussed the matter with friends.  Seems that a number of us are in the same boat.

The Boobylicious Snake Goddess Crete
Source: WikiMedia Commons
We want to be Boobylicious, but we don’t want to go under the knife, for practical reasons, as well as emotional ones.  First off, I am really not keen on having general anesthesia unless absolutely necessary.  With my luck, I’d be one of those freak death-by-anesthesia statistics.  Sorry kids, you lost your mom because she wanted bigger boobs.
Secondly, who has that kind of recovery time to give?  I, as well as most of my friends, have young kids at home, and we are all hanging by a thread, as it is.  Mama cannot be down and out, laid up in bed for weeks because of a boob job.  Just not practical.
And thirdly, I am kind of a weirdo germaphobe, and I cannot stand the thought of living with some foreign object implanted in my chest that could potentially leak, pop or whatever and give me cancer ten years down the road.  It’s just icky to me.  Remember how great everyone thought silicone implants were in the 70s?  Yeah, we know how that turned out.
Lastly, and possibly most importantly, what kind of message are we sending our daughters (and sons!) if we Mamas who are not Boobylicious (but fabulous in many other ways) all line up and march into the plastic surgeon’s office because we are not okay with ourselves the way we are? 
What seed would that plant in the mind of my sweet young daughter who someday might gaze despondently upon her own flat chest in the mirror?  That she is not good enough and boys and/or people won’t like her the way she is?
I think there comes a time in life where we have to understand and realize that there are no shortcuts or quick fixes for how we feel about ourselves and our bodies. 
And if you’ve had plastic surgery, a boob job or something else, please know that I am not judging you.  I am a plastic surgery alumnae myself (nose job in the 80s).  Thusly, I feel I can speak to the subject, and I am here to tell you that it did not solve all (or any, really) of my problems or make my life perfect in the blink of an IV.
I was still the same person before I went under the knife that I was afterwards.   Same girl filled with self-doubt, but with a slightly better looking honker.  See, I’m still insecure about it.
In the end, our bodies are just pieces of flesh that house our souls.  We wrestle with our souls and take it out on our boobs, thighs and tummies. But we’re not meant to be perfect, and it’s time we accept that. 

So, I’m issuing a call-to-arms for all the small-chested beauties out there to band together, hold hands and repeat after me:
I AM NOT BOOBYLICIOUS, BUT I AM BEAUTIFUL, SEXY AND SMART.
I AM NOT PERFECT, BUT I AM JUST FINE THE WAY I AM. 
THERE IS MORE TO ME THAN MY BOOBS, OR LACK THEREOF.
I AM HAPPY FOR MY FRIEND WHO IS BOOBYLICIOUS, BUT I WILL NOT DOUBT MYSELF OR MY CHOICES.  NOR WILL I JUDGE HER FOR HERS.
There, that feels good, doesn’t it? 
I am not Boobylicious, and I am definitely, sort-of okay with it.
 
Mama’s Losin’ It

18 comments:

  1. Amen! But won't bigger boobs make my waist look smaller? If so, sign me up. :)

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    1. I know, I've also thought about how bigger boobs would balance out my butt. Or maybe they could lipo my butt and put that on my chest?? :)

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  2. Amen! I won't lie, I've got 'em myself, but with them comes the big thighs, the belly, the huge calves, and the large arms, so I totally hear what you are saying about acceptance. As moms especially we need to show our children that we should love the bodies God gave us.

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    1. I know, I feel like once I fixed the boobs, then my mind would just move on to the next thing that needs fixing. And that list is endless!!! :)

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  3. I come from a long line of less-than-abundant chests :). If anything, I've learned to be grateful that I can always add to mine with the right kind of bra rather than having to go under the knife to take something away (for the opposite size concern)!

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  4. I love your call-to-arms at the end. Just great. I've never had boobs and it, honestly, doesn't bother me much, but there are several other things about my post-baby body that I need to get over - like my permanent four-months-pregnant-belly-pooch. I hate it, but I'm learning to get over it.

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    1. Oh yes, the belly-pooch takes a long time to go away. I'm still waiting for mine to take a hike :)

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  5. That was a very creative and enlightening way to look at yourself. And I love your attitude. It's what's inside, our soul, who makes us what we are. We become beautiful to ourselves and those around us when we accept who we are. I'm with you, I have a fear of anything un-natural swimming around in my body. I don't trust the knife!

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  6. There was a period of time when I was overweight and my normal B cup expanded to a D. I was not happy. I thought it was annoying. Mine are saggy and small again but I wouldn't trade them...

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    1. Yes, I imagine saggy & small beats floppy and big, ha, ha!

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  7. Do you remember when the Wonder Bra came into our lives, circa 1995? I think it more than paid for itself in drinks, bought for us by unsuspecting 20-somethings wearing beer googles.

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    1. OMG, the Wonder Bra! I totally remember us racing down to Victoria's Secret & shelling out an enormous amount of $$ (to us, at the time) for that contraption. Tee, hee!

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  8. Yep yep yep! I have boobs in spades, even had them surgically downsized, but the sentiment is the same. Even if I fixed my biggest body complaint, I'd just move on to another I'm sure of it. So what would I accomplish?

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    1. I am so with you. Neverending list of complaints. Might as well just be happy!

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  9. We wrestle with our souls and take it out on our boobs, thighs and tummies.


    The world would be a much happier place if more people had your insight.

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  10. I love that you wrote about this subject. I am on the other end of the Boobylicious spectrum, and have always been self-concious about my abundence! That just shows "it's alway's somethin' " that we can obsess about. I love your message of non judemental self-acceptance. It's one, that as a woman, I need to hear over and over again.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog~

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